China's Olympics Opening Ceremony

Bob Costas said China's Summer Olympics Opening Ceremony "surpassed all superlatives." He pretty much thought it was the greatest opener in Olympic history.

I don't know about that, but the Chinese did a pretty good job. I could have done without the awkward press conference smack in the middle of the thing. Like we all want to hear some windbags talk too much. Reserve that for CSPAN.

I still think seasoned runners should carry the Olympic flame around the stadium. Some of those poor people they selected couldn't run. One man, Chinese of course, earned a gold medal in marksmanship or shooting or whatever they call it. He might be useful in a drive-by shooting in South Central Los Angeles, but he couldn't run very well. Then the torch got handed to another former Olympian, also Chinese. She couldn't run either.

Let runners handle the torch, particularly relay runners. It doesn't matter if they medaled or not. What matters is that they look graceful when they run on television while in possession of the Olympic flame. That's all I care about.

If I want to see people who can't run, I'll go to my gym and work out.

Then at the end, they suspended another former Chinese Olympian from wires and paraded him around the whole stadium. He was positioned against video animation. He acted as if he was running while the animation scrolled forward with him. It was cool for a moment. Then Costas announced that this element wouldn't end until the man made it around the whole building.

That seemed tedious. So I was asking "How long will this take?" As this played out, NBC felt compelled to cut away to Yao Ming, a second-tier NBA All Star (even as a starter). Ming stood throughout and held a small child who had saved some folks from danger. Nothing wrong with that. I just wouldn't want my starting center standing all night and holding anything remotely heavy. He might be tired when he faces USA Basketball tomorrow. So, I don't get that.

Ole Ming the Merciful isn't nearly the greatest athlete at the Games either, yet the network felt compelled to showcase him. NBC did this a lot, and it got obnoxious. Focus on the event, not the crowd. That part of the production reminded me of a Laker game where the television production crew doesn't have enough sense to keep the focus on the game. They think we want to see the guy who played Spiderman and whatever actor and actress has a new romantic comedy to promote.

Anyway, the running man got around the stadium. He lit the flame, triggering to a truly awesome fireworks routine worthy of Las Vegas on the Fourth of July. The fireworks rocked. The mid-ceremony presser did not rock.