Kristi Yamaguchi Wins on "Dancing With the Stars"

Experienced Dancer Tops NFL Star

Isn't Kristi Yamaguchi supposed to win? After all, she is an Olympic-caliber figure skater. Isn't dancing part of figure skating?

I have never watched Dancing With the Stars, but I know a ringer when I see one.

Stop casting ringers. Cast people without dance backgrounds.

The way Dancing is cast, it's like holding the Special Olympics and sending the USA Basketball team to compete for a basketball medal. It's like Kobe Bryant and LeBron James dunking on disabled kids. That's how fair it is. Kristi Yamaguchi is supposed to beat Jason Taylor. She dances on skates for a living. Dancing without skates seems so much easier. If she didn't win, the results would appear rigged.

I knew something was amiss when the Dancing folks cast Marie Osmond, a woman with her own variety show in the 1970s. She danced with her brother Donnie like every week. How did she of all people wind up on Dancing With the Stars? Isn't this show supposed to be a competition between celebrities that haven't danced for a living?

If they're going to cast ringers, cast ringers. Stack the box. Give us Shakira, Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus and Janet Jackson. Do it right. Throw in Paula Abdul and some boy banders and you have yourself a show. Call it Dancing With the Ringers. You'll draw 30 million every broadcast.

I should be a network television producer.