I finally saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I procrastinated a whole three days.
What is wrong with me? Sure, I had a job to go to, and I couldn't fit Indy in on Thursday, May 22. Well, that's not entirely true. I could have seen it after work, but I didn't want to rush, and I didn't want to stay out any later than I had to. What is wrong with me?
It doesn't matter. I'm sure Indy 4 was just as good on the fourth day of release as it was on the first.
I plan to post more thoughts and observations on the whole experience later. What I really want to post about is Kung Fu Panda. Jack Black voices the title character.
So, I'm at Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I'm sitting with my friend in the theater watching a bunch of trailers for a bunch of movies I don't care to see. One of them is Kung Fu Panda. What amazes me is that grown adults actually sit in meetings dreaming this stuff up on purpose. Then they receive a budget. They write a screenplay. They cast actors. They make a feature-length movie based on a really bad idea, a panda that knows kung fu.
I don't want to see Kung Fu Panda. It's a kids movie, and not like Star Wars is a kids movie. There will be no Death Squad Commanders in Kung Fu Panda. Death Squad Commanders are a very appropriate kids movie element, and they can only be seen in Star Wars, the ultimate kids movie. It's doubtful that anyone will have there arm cut off in Kung Fu Panda. Nobody will be murdered point blank with a blaster. Remember what Han Solo did to Greedo? That was great. "Sorry for the mess," Han says! Ultimate kids movie.
Kung Fu Panda shall be no Star Wars. Nothing ever will of course.
Anyway, I'm watching this Kung Fu Panda trailer, and I make the argument to my friend that this movie would probably be a lot better if it skipped the animation and just had Jack Black in a panda suit. Jack Black in a panda suit would be a lot funnier.
And I'm talking a really bad panda suit. The cruddier the better, right? The white fur should look dingy, and the seams should show. That concept would work a whole lot better than some stinking animation. I don't need no stinking animation. Put Jack Black in a panda suit. Remake Nacho Libre. Change up the plot a little, maybe a lot. Have Jack Black in the panda suit, and doing stunts, and you have yourself a hit movie. A movie like that would bring in $100 million it's first week just like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull did.
Jack Black in a cheap, cruddy panda suit would work.